Love is a decision.
Love is a decision.
– Gary Smalley
Hello! How have you been lately? To all the singles out there, here are some questions you may want to ask yourselves before you consider marriage. Try to be objective. 🙂
Are you truly in love with the other person?
Have you both become better persons?
Have you both become mature in the relationship? Is the level of trust acceptable? Or tolerable?
How are you both when it comes to the following areas:
– Faith, Principles, Beliefs, Values
– Speech, Temperament, Restraint
– You can add more to this list 🙂
Is there a definite, clear-to-both-parties plan on where the relationship is going? Is the plan timetable feasible?
Are you both inspired by each other?
Are you truly happy with each other’s company?
Are you sure it’s all genuine?
How much do you love each other? In sickness and in health? For richer or for poorer?
Do you really want to spend the rest of your lives with each other?
Can you rely on each other’s maturity in handling life’s downs? Daily challenges? Conflicts?
Can you bring the other person to your circles – family, friends, the important circles?
Are you sure you will not be bored with each other?
Have your personalities improved?
Have your individual identities been enhanced? Or lost?
Does one lift the other person up? Push the other to be better? Encourage the other person? Pray or wish goodwill for the other person?
Are you sure you can live with the annoying habits of your partner?
List annoying or irritating aspects of your partner, if there are any. See if you can live with that (worst case). See if you can change that (hopeful, wishful thinking, miraculous case).
Check your partner’s attachment to immediate family. Are you okay with that?
Are you both achieving or realizing your dreams?
Do you both feel complete as singles?
Would you rather be single than be with the other person for life?
Would you rather be with someone else?
What things bother you about your partner?
What things disappoint or frustrate you?
What things annoy you?
What things turn you off?
What things irritate you?
How do you see yourself with your partner 2 years from now? 5 years from now? 10? 20? 30? 40?
Do you enjoy your time together?
Are you sure you are happy and not bored? If you are bored, can something be done about it?
Are you both confident with yourselves and with what you can do as individuals?
Are you both confident that in times of trouble, one can rely on the other? Think illnesses, financial challenges, recession, difficult people, stress at work, busy times, children.
Do you truly respect each other?
Do you treat each other right?
What does one contribute to the other person?
What does one get from the other person?
Can you live with your differences?
Can you meet halfway at least?
Does one consider the other a unique entity, fearfully and wonderfully made?
How do you really see marriage?
– Something you should do because of pressure from family, friends, society?
– Something you should do because you’re getting old?
– Something you should do because it eventually ends there anyways?
– Something you should do because it would be great for your career?
– Something that would limit your freedom and make it difficult for you to breathe?
– Something that you really want to do because you want to really live life with your partner already?
Do you connect spiritually? Intellectually/ Emotionally?
Do you have other friends? Common friends / Support group friends?
Do you both genuinely care for the other person’s family?
Can you both take your partner’s family as your own?
Does the other person help you mature or grow more in all aspects?
I hope that trying to answer these questions would help you know better what you truly want and how much you want them. Now live life to the fullest! 🙂